I know it is a sin to feel this feverish all the time.  My body seems to maintain that dewy look most folks are trying to achieve. Some may call it a glow, but to me it is a shameful reminder of the ever-burning inferno within me.

Every day I seem to find myself immersed in extinguishable heat, only nothing seems to be able to quench or put out this fire.  It is affecting my work, my home and most importantly my family.  How can I be joyful, when all I think about is this never ending burning, intense feeling that starts from the top of my head and quickly pools at my feet.

Riding in my car is like adding fuel to the fire.  Even wearing my cutest attire, it burns me from within…and out.  Hard to miss the wetness about my face and the clinginess of my clothes, which some may think as sexy, but for me it is irritating.  It is hard to strut, when you are so uncomfortable and wet.

As I try to lie in bed, barely clothed, I dream of the burning fire cooling within me.  I think of cool, cold and icy things to intensify my mood.  The dreams are intoxicating.  I feel drunk from my subconscious wants and thoughts.  Even with my ceiling fan turning, turning and turning it still doesn’t dissipate the fervor that has built all around and through me.  It doesn’t go away, it continues to burn slowly.  My husband moans and turns over, he too, can feel the warmth.  Maybe because he is experiencing the same lusting I am, but he continues to sleep knowing and not knowing my need.  Even if he were awake, he would not be able to play fireman to my flame.  All I can do is lie here and dream.

I don’t know how much more of this I can take.  I am cranky, tired and just plain beat.  I can’t workout.  I can’t eat.  My hands are always clammy.  Although my husband likes the sensual way my thighs rub together ever so lightly, it has become distressing. I just can’t do anything but wish for some release from my pain.  I have read blogs asking the Almighty for a reprieve because maybe they confused Him with their unpredictable and wishy-washy prayers.  I need to feel coolness against my skin.  I need to feel something wet, that is not sweat.  Shit, this damn heat is killing me and my damn air conditioner at home and in my car ain’t working worth a damn and my boss wants me to go get lunch in this 100-degree weather, damn lie!  Bump that!  If Hell is anything like what it feels like right now outside, I damn sure better get my life right because this sister will not make it in Hell!

What the heck did you think I was talking about?  All I can think about is how hot it is and praying for rain.  Imani!